MISSING WUNDERSCHNITZEL DRUMMER REEMERGES FROM AMAZON WITH EAU DE COLOGNE

Eau de Cologne Magazine

Max Pedelo, the missing session drummer from Electro Folk Rock Pop super group Wunderschnitzel has reemerged after being reported missing for nearly two years. Last seen heating a bowl of chile con carne at the Wunderschnitzel recording studio in Austria in 2007, he suddenly disappeared without trace, leaving his collection of 3,000 drum sticks behind. Today he launched a new man scent and accompanying ad campaign featuring him lying seductively in a masculine pose and welcomed interested media to his home in Manaus, the capital of The Amazon. When asked where he had been all this time he explained he had been ‘right here’, before adding his reasons for leaving Austria had been because he had feared for his life whilst recording with Wunderschnitzel on the unfinished album ‘Man Fat.’

‘Things weren’t good between Magnus and me. He detests drummers, except bongo players of course, he loves those.’ The former drummer for such groups as Innsbruck funksters ‘Das Hip Sound’ and Salzburg disco meisters ‘Blasmusik’ added that his attentions to create a jolly atmosphere in the Wunderschnitzel studio had been misunderstood. ‘After Ludwig's wife picked out my car keys from a bowl at a party in Klagenfurt and I got signed as the new Wunderschnitzel drummer I really tried to get the boys to like me, but some people just don’t find it funny when you steal a bit of money from them, eat all the food in the fridge, sell their cat to a Chinese take away and generally leave the place in a mess. I think practical jokes are wasted on most Austrian musicians.’ So one night he suddenly decided on a spur of the moment impulse to flee to The Amazon, firstly by taxi, then bus, then train, plane, train, then bus again and finally taxi, before becoming the session drummer for La Trigre Del Oriente. Here’s one of the tracks that he worked on.

WUNDERSCHNITZEL ARRIVE IN SKOPJE

Miss Jimi entertains Macedonia's military brass

The LA Times

SKOPJE-MACEDONIA
It has been five years since Wunderschnitzel have visited Macedonia and by the reception they received at the Skopje bus station yesterday, it seems fans have forgotten the scandal that forced the band to flee the country the last time they played here. Magnus Glocken told the gathered crowd which included the city’s mayor that ‘it was wonderful to be received by such a large crowd that were not chanting and carrying Molotov cocktails’ and he thanked the assembled group of secret police for doing what they do best. Magnus Glocken, Ludwig Spiel and Miss Jimi were then whisked away on the back of a state of the art bullet proof horse and cart to open a new shopping centre, before lunch with military officials at a new franchise of 'Chicken, Chicken,Chicken.' As Magnus and Ludwig played the water drum and finger piano, Miss Jimi danced and sang on the restaurants table tops to the delight of the all male crowd.

That evening at Mister Bo Bo’s, a night club in the centre of the city’s Australian Quarter, Wunderschnitzel, Miss Jimi and a selection of hired local musicians played some of the band’s greatest hits including ‘Space Station Schnitzel’, ‘Backseat Bongos’, ‘Mama Wanted Me to Be in Finance’ and ‘Menu de Jour’. Tomorrow they head to Hungary where Miss Jimi has an appointment with celebrity chiropodist Doctor Derek, while the Wunderschnitzel boys have a photo shoot at The Thong Shop, before that evenings concert at Canoodle Hall where they will be supported by local techno rockers ‘Infantile Man Place’. Doors open at 9pm.

Infantile Man Place

BRYAN AIR TEAM UP WITH WUNDERSCHNITZEL & MISS JIMI

The Aberdeen Advertiser
Bryan Air is pleased to announce that it is offering flights to a number of destinations on the Wunderschnitzel Rock Da Haus Eastern European Tour, all for only £2. Fans will now be able to follow the Electro Folk Rock Pop legends, accompanied by sensation Miss Jimi, to every port of call on the gig calendar via a stop over in Lagos. When asked by the media why the Azerbaijan capital had been left off the list, Managing Director Brian Bryan explained, 'its a bit too far for our pilots and cabin crew. After more than a couple of hours in the air they get a bit unresponsive.'

WUNDERSCHNITZEL RETURN TO 2007 EUROPEAN TOUR TWO YEARS LATER

The South China Morning Post


After nearly two years delayed in Sofia after the first gig of their 2007 East European rock tour, Wunderschnitzel have finally left the Bulgarian capital, known for its smoked cheeses and frilly folkish undergarments. Electro Folk Rock Pop maestros Magnus Glocken and Ludwig Spiel had meant to leave the day after their gig in 2007, but a series of events sidetracked and hijacked the tour. Firstly Miss Jimi, the Armenian pop sensation who has joined the band for the tour, was charged with the death of the Bulgarian Minister of the Exterior, found bound in a hotel closet wearing only a scuba mask. Due to her fame she was not jailed, but had to remain under close house arrest in the palatial apartment belonging to the Minister of the Interior. Now a mother of triplets and a free woman she is ready to slip back into her signature stretched swimsuit and fur coat and entertain rock fans across Eastern Europe again.

Meanwhile during this unexpected time off Magnus Glocken took the opportunity to visit some of his Bulgarian investments including a series of sweatshops making lingerie for teenagers. After this he rented a cell in the nunnery of Saint Kylie and finished his PhD dissertation entitled 'Cake Making and the Rise of The Prussian Empire.' Ludwig Spiel on the other hand spent his time exploring the streets of Sofia after dark and fraternizing with businessmen with similar tastes. One such encounter he claims, gave him the idea of opening Bulgaria’s premier World of Ladders Warehouse, found on the E871 just past the Chinese takeaway near Bozhurishte, their sales motto being, ‘Elevation at rock bottom prices.’

Now back on the road Wunderschnitzel & Miss Jimi told the BBC World Service via telephone this week that although fans lost all their money with the purchase of the 2007 tickets, they would only have to pay 75% for another ticket, but there would be no discounts for students, old age pensioners or animals.

Wunderschnitzel’s long time bodyguards hang up their tasers.

The Basingstoke Chronicle.

Kurt Venderbeers, Uri Flopov and Seymour Wang known as The Three Fists, officially retired today from over sixty years service protecting celebrities and public figures. During their long career they have acted as hired muscle for such celebrities as David Niven, Peter Ustinov, Telly Savalas, The King of Nepal, Burt Reynolds and Billy Ocean. For the past twenty years they have been the personal bodyguards to Electro Folk Rock Pop legends Wunderschnitzel, chaperoning the Austrian music maestros wherever they travel. Kurt Venderbeers, 81 told reporters that he had grown tired of twenty years of boring inactivity and was sorry there had been no attempts on the lives of his employers over that time. ‘Sometimes you’re so bored you pray for a psychopath nutter to come along, but when they don’t, you start thinking, should I plot a fake assassination attempt myself, just to feel excited about going to work again?’ Mr Vanderbeers now plans to move to the Middle East to teach hand to hand combat to wealthy pensioners, while Uri Flopov, 77 added that through his family connections he had been granted the contract with updating his native Moldova’s public urinal system, saying ‘It’s a new area for me, but I’d be stupid to piss this opportunity away.’ The third member Seymour Wang, 93 was not available for interview and according to close intelligence sources, is believed to be currently working undercover as a door to door Tupperware salesman in North Korea.